BLOGMAS 2017 — #Day19: The Nativity

Day number 19 guys !!! We’ve made it this far – less than a week to Christmas now!
So, we’re ramping up the Christmas vibes a couple of knotches, by focusing on ‘the true meaning of Christmas’.
What? No, you misguided idiot – this is NOT my Christmas present wish list. This, my friend, is the Nativity – L-style.

Once upon a time, in a country far far away (but brought a little bi closer to us by the wonders of Easyjet), there was a stable.
A strong (and) stable.
In this stable, for whatever reason, there was a manger — TBH, I’m not really sure why either. But if God can make mankind and continents and stuff, then he can put a manger in a stable in Israel.
This stable was located next to an inn; seems an odd choice to me too, but just go with it – it’s Christmas.

When Mary (no, not Mary Berry – Mary, um, I don’t know her last name NGL) arrived at the inn, she found there were no rooms. Instead of looking out for the nearest Premier Inn – maybe she had an irrational phobia of comedian Lenny Henry –, Mary spotted the stable, and was like: “Wow, free lodging? I’m in!”
Long story short, Mary set up camp in the stable, and gave birth to her son, Jesus. He did some great things – as documented in a bestselling novel –, but that’s another story.

I’m sure you’re familiar with the assortment of guests who came to visit Jesus in his Premier Inn replacement, but the one guest they always seem to forget to mention is perhaps the most important of them all – The Llama Leader. Yup, Isreal has a llama population – go with it, OK?
This Llama Leader (who we’ll refer to as LL for simplicity’s sake) was very excited to meet little Jesus, but was also slightly perplexed as to what to take Jesus as a present. And, how was he going to get it in time for him to take to Jesus on his birthday – he couldn’t afford Amazon Prime! So, LL popped into town (I guess Bethlehem has a Westfield Shopping Centre?), to try and find a suitable gift. Whilst in his Uber, LL sent a SnapChat to the wisemen and shepherds and the kings, asking what the upper price limit was – he didn’t want to look pretentious or anything. His iPhone pinged – “about a tenner mate” said Monsieur Shepherd. So, LL nipped into Lidl, and found a £9.99 bottle o’ whisky (babies can drink alcohol right), and then fired up Google Maps, to find the next bus to the strong stable.

So, there you go – L vs the Nativity; I hope you enjoyed my take on it, and that you will never again forget the most important baby-visitor of them all, The Llama Leader.


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