Assumptions

I had a busy day yesterday — beside the point, I know, but coming up with opening lines for blog posts is challenging, and we all have to start somewhere, right? The fact that yesterday, I went to the shops, took my dog for a run in the park, visited the pet shop and went to a different shop in the evening is neither here nor there — well, apart from one of those events. Don’t worry — you’ll find out which one in a moment, but first, allow me to inform you that the weather in southern England has returned to normal service once again after our LITERAL 5 Seconds of Summer.
It’s raining.

In the park yesterday, something happened which has left me a little confused, and thoughtful. In reality, it’s perfectly common — not right, necessarily, but not abnormal. For whatever reason, it stuck in my head though, and made me think, and we all know what happens when L starts to think … he writes a blog post! Lucky you…
Yesterday was the first time that I’d taken my dog for a run in the park without my Guide Dog trainer; understandably, I think, I was a little nervous. My main worry was that my dog wouldn’t come back to me when I called; I’d blow my whistle, call her name, and no dog would materialise. My trainer told me that this wouldn’t be the case: the dogs come back to their owners if they want to, and my trainer was convinced that the dog and I have bonded well already.
I let her off the lead, and she went running, tail wagging, unbelievably happy that she could bounce her away around the park. I followed, equally delighted that my dog was so pleased, and feeling weirdly pleased when she came over, nudged my hand and then dashed off again from time to time, as if to remind me that she was still there.
Several minutes into the walk, we found some other dogs who were, thankfully, very friendly; they started to play with my dog, whilst I chatted with their owners. I explained that my dog was a guide dog, and that today was her ‘day off’; she could relax, and not have to work. They were interested and talkative, and we did that stereotypical dog-owner thing of talking about our dogs, in a way that would make you think we were obsessed.
I am.
The topic of my guide dog at school came up.
“How is she at school?” One of the women asked. I explained that I haven’t taken her to school yet; my first day back is Wednesday, and I’m not sure how it’ll go. As is usual, conversation moved on, and we talked about school a little bit. As I looked to head off with my dog, one of the women made one final remark.
“Well, you’ll have all the girls after you with your dog in toe.”
For one thing, this statement cannot be true; my school is a single-sex, all-boys school. But that wasn’t the point that I caught onto.

Why is it assumed that I’m straight? Why is it assumed that anyone is straight, that I would want ‘all the girls’ after me? It’s narrow-minded, yes, but I can hardly blame the individual in question who made the remark; society itself is to blame, I believe. I’m not labelling the comment as homophobic or anything like that: I doubt the woman in question even thought about sexual orientation when making the comment. But at the same time, it’s little things — little things like this — that hold society back. It’s these established stereotypes, that most people are straight, and that boys like girls and girls like boys — no exceptions.
But that just isn’t true: I’m bi, which I suppose is why I even noticed anything wrong with this comment. It makes me both angry and upset that these stereotypes still exist, and aren’t being stamped out. People who are unsure of their sexuality, for example, and aren’t confident as themselves may have been more affected by this comment, left wondering if they’re ‘normal’.

Maybe I’m being picky, maybe not. What do you think?

L XX

16 thoughts on “Assumptions

  1. First of all, your dog sounds so cute. Second of all, yes! Yes! YES!! Okay, so I totally understand the annoyance of those assumptions. I’m asexual and I constantly have to battle with the assumption that I want to have sex, possibly as soon as I pass 16 which I definitely don’t want to do. I hope one day we get rid of these assumptions because they are so annoying, people should realise that not everyone is straight! Sorry for the little rant but I feel strongly about this topic but I’m really happy you see these assumptions too 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ahh your dog sounds so lovely! Also I agree with you on the stereotypes front. It’s like these comments are so ingrained into our society that no one really questions them, which isn’t great because as you said it could really affect people who are still questioning their sexuality and within our predominantly heteronormative society. It’s difficult though especially if you know the person in question didn’t mean to cause harm but at the same time it’s these sort of the off the hand comments that we need to tackle if we’re ever to achieve an accepting and equal society.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My dog is bae
      I completely agree. As I say, I don’t blame the individual: I doubt they even gave the comment a second thought. But these assumptions and assuming comments need to stop, to allow us to progress…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yess 👌 exactly! I’ve been watching some documentaries on breaking gender stereotypes in schools recently and it’s shocking how ingrained stereotypes are in our lives like half the things the presenter was bringing up I didn’t even realise reinforced stereotypes.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I totally agree! Those sort of ‘normal’ comments are what makes homosexuals different to heterosexuals. But they shouldn’t! It should be totally normal to say to a boy “that’ll make all the boys want you” or to a girl “that’ll make all the girls want you”. Some people may say it’s such a tiny, little thing but it’s the little things that matter! By the way, your dog is absolutely adorable!! Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My dog is getting a lot of love!
      Exactly: I don’t exactly know what I’m asking for; I’m not sure what the individual in question should’ve said which would’ve been better. But you’re right 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh GOSH I get you here. I think that people just assume – and they shouldn’t but they do – that everyone is straight until proven otherwise. Even my dad asks me about boys first and I always, always get asked if I have a boyfriend or if I fancy any boys. It frustrates me so much!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Totally agree! Little things like this perpetuate the notion that most people are straight, and only a few are gay. I even hate the word ‘straight’ is it suggests normality and propriety, thereby connoting that being LGBTQ+ is abnormal and improper – a completely false conviction. That’s another matter entirely though… Loved this post xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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