Oh Great, He’s a Psychopath

I had uite an adventure yesterday – one of those where the moment you think it’s all over, it comes back full-force. Admittedly, the latter half of said adventure was of my own doing, but that made it no less exciting, intense or blog-worthy.

I travelled down to the south of England yesterday by train, which is nothing unusual for me; I’m always catching a train to somewhere-or-other. Arriving into London at 08:30, however, never gets any easier, but my routine (exit tube, march to toilet, march to Starbucks to purchase hot chocolate, march to train) holds true to 90% of journeys which I am on time for (which equates to abut 2% of my overall journeys).
However, clearly Saturday 24 September fals within that 2% on an annual basis (according to both my experience yesterday and my experience exactly a year before, seen through my Facebook memories). Yesterday, however, i’d also arranged to meet two friends in the London train station, as they were also going to the same place as me; lonely travelling is just as awful as it sounds, trust me. Upon meeting them – i.e standing at an ‘information desk’, waving my white cane around and frantically checking Facebook Messenger -, we all went off to the toilets. Of course, because I am me, I managed to trip over a randomly-placed step, lock myself in a toilet and RUIN my hair with the super high up hand-drier. Regardless, I survived, and so we all proceeded to Starbucks. Being the awkward potato that I am, when someone offered to pay for my drink in Starbucks, I immediately objected violently for 5 minutes, but the person was just too lovely and wouldn’t let me pay… British problems, eh?

The first adventure really began aboard our train to the south. We managed to get a table seat…
Oh, i should explain. So here, seats on trains are arranged two-behind-two, with little flip-down tables on the back of each seat. some seats, however, are arranged two-opposite-two, with a table in the middle. If you are in a group of three (like us) or four, then these seats are ideal, but hard to get, as commuters with newspapers like to take one up all by themselves. Still, we got one, so yay!
The three of us were just having a general chat over our drinks, listening to the friendly driver’s announcement when all of a sudden it stopped, the lights (apparently – I wouldn’t know, I’m blind) went out, and ALL of the doors slamed shut. It was silent.
Several minutes later, an automatic announcement came over the speaker system: “There is a problem with the automatic door system. Don’t panic and please do not operate any of the emergency equipment”.
Well by now, i’m fucking panicing. We are locked on a train,with no power early on a Saturday morning with no company but an automated woman and a guard, on the platform, tapping on the window from time to time. Then, an elderly man stood up at the front of our carriage:
‘It’s almost like a horror movie.’
Oh great – add a psychopathic pensioner to that list, will you?

eventually, twenty minutes later we were on our way, travelling at 1-mile-an-hour for at least 30 minutes (I swear), before the driver eventually put his bloody foot down and we sped through English suburbia. When we did get off the Horror Express, my friend goes: “This doesn’t look like our stop… Is this definitely it?’
* Train pulls out of platform *
Luckily, it was our station, so life was good.

My journey back was also dramatic, but this time, it was kinda my fault. Walking onto the platform to catch my train home, I realised I had half-an-hour to wait before it arrived. However, there was a train on the platform, ready to leave.
I got on it.
I had absolutely no idea where it was going, and afterwards realised that I could have potentially ended up in Newcastle (northeast of England). In the end, however, I ended up back in London, and after wandering around for a bit, found my way back home – hurrah! Home is good, as bed is at home, and bed is comfy, and great for sleeping in.

With that I shall leave you in peace, to get on with your day or night (I don’t know when you’re reading this, do I). Enjoy your day or night, and I hope you enjoyed reading about psychopaths and mystery trains…


7 thoughts on “Oh Great, He’s a Psychopath

  1. haha wow sounds like you had an interesting journey xD
    i have drama every day because southern rail have cancelled/delayed like 99% of trains i swear and they get so crowded.. -_-

    Liked by 2 people

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