Change is scary — I think everyone, at one point or another, realises that. Change is, however, necessary, and think that we can all recognise just why this is: it causes us to develop, adapt and ultimately advance.
When your best friend has a change in their life, you wouldn’t immediately expect it to affect you directly. Sure, there will be new conversations to be had, and things might be a little up-in-the-air for a while, but that should be pretty much it, right?
My best friend doesn’t live near me at all, but we’re used to that. I see them from time to time at sport training, and we always meet up in school holidays, when they’re home from blindie boarding school (which is even further from me than their home is). This year, however, they’re moving boarding schools, to somewhere further away but, in the long-term, better for them. Of course I’m thrilled that they’re going there — after all, it’s what they want, and I’m confident that it’s where they will be able to excel in all areas. However, with a new placement comes big changes, and that is hitting our friendship with a hard, solid blow.
Unfortunately, due to this new school’s location (and excellent sports facilities), it would neither be suitable nor necessary for my friend to come to the sport training sessions that I attend, and therefore I will not see them regularly any more. I will still see them in the holidays, and I suppose that will just mean that that the time we spend together will mean more and be more special to both of us, but it’s not going to be easy. Our level of contact by phone and internet will not change; I know that for sure — I hope. Still, as I’ve always said on this blog, things aren’t the same if you can’t see each other in person, and things will be difficult as we both adjust to that.
I’ve cried myself to sleep over this; it just really upsets me that this change is happening. Somewhere, I can’t help but panic that something about our friendship is going to change, that they’re going to find new people at their new school. Obviously, I have no issue with this, but they’ll naturally be spending more time with these people, and it worries me that maybe I will be `replaced”‘ by someone else. Maybe it’s ridiculous: I know my friend well enough to know that they would never do that to me, but then again, neither of us have been in this situation before, so neither of us know what’s going to happen.
This person has stuck by me through thick and thin; they’ve seen me at my worst and at my best, and I’ve seen them in their darkest moments and in their times of celebration and joy. More than anyone else, this person means the absolute world to me, there’s no doubt about it. Besides them, I can think of no other single individual who has stuck by me through everything, supporting me when times are difficult and helping me see the positives when my sky is filled with stormy clouds.
Things have never been easy for us: distance, irregular visiting and both of our hectic sports schedules lead to a ridiculously difficult friendship which, theoretically, shouldn’t have ever worked. In practice, it doesn’t really work; there are just too many complications that have an impact on the amount of time we have, both on and offline. Regardless, we plough on, and with some practice and flexibility, we’ve made this friendship work — no, we’ve made it thrive. In my eyes, this is just solid evidence that any friendship can be made to work if each component (i.e person) really wants it to succeed.
Am I being paranoid, though? Honestly, I cannot tell if it’s stupid to think that my closest friend would abandon me when they’re thrown into this new environment, this new situation. In reality, it’s a new situation and a new environment for us both: our friendship is suddenly on new turf. Still, that worry presses on, and I cannot quite conclude whether my anxiety is valid here. Only time will tell — neither of us can predict the results of a situation that neither of us have experienced before, especially when the results are based on individuals’ actions and reactions.
Waiting is a tough game, but it’s a game we’re going to have to play.