growing Pains

I’ve had a lot on my mind recently, with very little opportunity to express myself: time has, quite simply, illuded me. even now, it’s creeping towards 1am, and I just can’t sleep; the amount of thoughts swirling around and around in my mind has reached some kind of climax, and I just need to sit down and think things over.
Blogging has the strange but comforting ability to calm me down, somehow, even if I wasn’t previously aware that I was anything but calm, although in this case I know all too well that I’m worked up over loads of different things. So, as I sit here in the dead of night, the sharp, very real nighttime breeze focussed on the side of my bare neck, I have decided to write a blog post, to talk about something that has caused me no end of thinking over recent days.

We’re all growing up. Day by day, week by week, we learn and we develop, adapting to and dealing with new, unique situations which we’re unfamiliar with. ‘Grown-ups’ have not finished growing: no one ever finishes growing until they move on to a better place, and even then their actions, words and thoughts can be analysed and remembered, new parts of an individual discovered, despite having been there all along.

Regardless, we’re all growing as individuals, and while this is almost unarguably a positive, there are undoubtedly some negatives to this process, as [however cynical it may seem], whilst every cloud has a silver lining, every silver lining has its own cloud. Growing up is painful, both physically, mentally and emotionally, and it’s hard to get a proper grip on life during the years during which the transition from child to adult takes place.

Growing pains are the negatives to growing up: the harder parts, the parts that are difficult to come to terms with.
A key growing pain which I really want to discuss – to get it off of my chest, if nothing else – is friendship. During teenage years, as i’m currently expierencing, friendships suddenly become a whole lot more complicated. It’s only natural that we all change as people, and although we may not realise it in ourselves, we can use the little things that we do notice changing to see that we are developing as people. Even something like music tastes, or book genre preferences can tell us a heck of a lot about how we are feeling at one particular stage of our lives.
Consequently, with these changes come changes in friendships and friendship groups. You make friends based partially on common interests and personality traits, and as they change, it’s only to be expected that your friends may change too. What no one can prepare you for is the utter confusion and pain that a change in friends causes: sleepless nights, late-night emotional text conversations, and more than anything else, confusion.

Oh, how much easier it is to simply place your hands over your eyes and pretend that everything’s better – that you’re not falling, falling, falling away from childhood friends, that you’re not changing, that nothing will ever change and you’ll always be 10-year-old you and that’s absolutely ideal. But it’s simply not true, because we’re all changing, and however hard it is to accept, you are going to have to if you want to have better long-term results.

I don’t want to say goodbye to the people who I’ve trusted, laughed with and cried with for all of my life.
… But maybe I don’t have to. Maybe, rather than saying goodbye to old friends, our friendship can change, like I am – like we are. Is it that easy? Can I just push on through this endless labrynth of life, changing but, somehow, staying the same?

I know this has been slightly confused: I hope it ameks some sense. what do you think about all of this?


27 thoughts on “growing Pains

  1. I can seriously relate to everything that you just talked about. Dude I NEEDED this. You’re so right. Growing up sucks. Its so weird to realize how much you’ve changed from that little person on the playground playing with all you’re friends to someone else entirely who looks different and acts different and thinks different; and its not just you, its everyone you’ve every known. Suddenly everything is different and its like what happened? I feel like I’ve lost something that I had in my childhood that I can’t really describe. I feel like I’ve changed way too much at this point to go back to that kid I was before. Loved the post. Super insightful 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow. This is amazing and so so so true. I needed to read something like this because I can relate exactly to it.
    I love your posts. They are so true and amazing and you are such a great writer!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ugh, friendships. When you were younger all you had to do was play with each other, and then instantly you were friends. Sometimes, I wish it were still that easy.

    Anyways, amazing post, I can definitely relate to it!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is so true. We keep changing everyday and in a year’s time we are not the same person. How did we grow up so fast? Childhood a beautiful time, when all we cared about were tv shows and food. I love how relatable your posts are. Great work and have a nice day ☺️.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yeah, I love this. Especially the fact that you have excepted that everyone will change, but you will change, and that is okay. I still have trouble with that. We are all growing, and it’s not bad at all: it’s good

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I really love this! Sometimes I think about the person I was a year ago and it’s so weird to remind myself how much I’ve changed – I guess it’s interesting to think of the kind of things that impact your changes in life and where it all comes from

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It is literally like you just read my mind! I think about all of this crazy stuff ALL the time and sometimes it even makes me feel like I’m going insane so it is so nice to read that other people experience it too and it really is just a part of growing up and not me overreacting! Such a great relatable post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Amazingly well-written as always, L. I totally get your points; the feeling of moving apart from friends is not a nice one, but I suppose it is necessary in a way? I guess it kind of shapes us as people, and it’s always a part of life. I love the metaphor you used too – how growing pains can be both physical and mental like you said.
    On another note, this post has sparked something in my brain and I have an urge to write something of my own, almost as a response. Although I don’t know what, haha!

    Elly x

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww, it’s kind of a shame that anyone should have to experience it though, hey? But like you’ve said, it is just a fact of life.
        I’ll have to let you know if I do get round to writing anything, although I can’t promise it’ll be anything good, hehe

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Many aspects of life should never have to happen: no one deserves to be upset for no reason. I’m sure whatever you write will be amazing 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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