Since when was it OK?
Since when was it OK to push me around, to make me your puppet?
Since when was it Ok for you to control me, my life, my friends?
Since when was it OK for you to threaten me because of my own choices?
They pushed me.
“don’t talk to them or I won’t be your friend.”
“Don’t talk about that or I won’t be your friend.”
“Don’t go out – stay in and talk to me or I won’t be your friend.”
This isn’t acceptable any more. I have someone who is doing this to me, and it’s not OK. You can’t tell me what to do, who to talk to, where to go. Just because you think I’ll listen to you, means you think you can manipulate me – whether obviously or not – to sculpt my friendship groups, habbits and day plans. You threaten me with not being my friend any more – it already seems that way to me.
But the worst bit is, I haven’t said anything. I have a, frankly, unhealthy fear of confrontation, and I will do anything, ignore anything, to avoid even the smallest of confrontations. I’d rather put myself under pressure, stress and social strains to keep everyone around me happy, and consider how I feel later on. It’s easier that way, I find.
I have a friend – a term I use loosely – who is angry. Angry at me, I guess, because I am not doing precisely what they think I should. Recently, I’ve decided to talk to someone who they’ve had a major falling out with over something which, unfortunately, I was dragged into. This friend doesn’t like that I’m talking to someone who they hate, and they are, essentially, threatening me to attempt to get me to stop. Just because they have an issue with one person, they feel that I should stop talking to them too. I don’t know why; maybe it’s to ensure that they don’t try and persuade me that their side of the afore-mentioned argument was the right one, or maybe it’s to try and cut this person off from any friends, making them lonely and isolated.
I will not give in. This is my friend, and if someone else wants to say a word against them, I will stand up and fight with them. Just because the controlling ‘friend’ thinks that I class them as a friend, doesn’t mean that things can’t change – quickly. I just wish I had the confidence to say something, loudly, to everyone who can hear me. I wish I could tell him, and everyone around him, what he truly is.
This person knows how to get to me. I play a sport, and as it’s quite a small sport, the community of players is quite small and therefore rumours spread fast. Before I knew it, rumours about me were flying around from mouth to mouth, person to person, club to club. They weren’t nice things, either. I had to take a break, because I couldn’t face some people.
That was his fault. He was the one to cut me off from the sport and people who I loe, and he didn’t even have the bravery to say sorry. not just one word – one text, even, to say sorry.
Maybe you have a friend like this – I don’t know. but please, don’t let them push you around. You’re your own person, and you’re perfect – if nothing else, that is true. You’re perfect making your own choices, with your own friends – friends who care, listen to and talk to you. None of you – not one – deserve to be pushed around, so please please please don’t stand for it. It takes so much confidence to stand up to someone, and I can’t talk, because I’m still trying to find that confidence myself. But I know in my heart and in my head that what he’s doing to me isn’t right, and if you have someone like this, you know too that is isn’t right.
Since when was it OK?
Since when was it OK to be pushed around?
Since when was it OK to be controlled?
Since when was it OK to be bullied?