There’s A Storm Outside

There’s a storm outside. It’s a big storm. My bedroom window is open, and the wind is tickling my bare neck, the odd drop of rain landing silently, subtly, on my skin. I do nothing to retaliate with nature: what’s the point?

I’m turning off my phone. I never turn off my phone – not even at night. but I am now. Just for a few days, maybe, a week at most, probably.

The wind is still creeping across the back of my neck.

A lot of people are talking. They’re talking about me, and it’s not all complimentary. I’m a “weirdo”, a “bisexual creep”, an “attention seeker”, with friends who are only my friends because they “pity me”, because they feel “sorry” for the “poor loner”.

It’s still raining.

Some of it’s nice – of course it is. The radio & TV whirlwind has started a lot of discussion – too much for my liking. I’m suddenly the topic of conversation, the subject of people’s sentences. But not even all that is positive, because of course I’m just on the TV & radio because i’m blind, not by my own merit.

There was just lightning:

too many people saying too many things have caused me to go offline. My phone is actually still on, which some may call cheating. But thenn, if that’s cheating, what kind of twisted, wharped game are we all playing? No, it’s on airplane mode, because I love my Kindle app too much, if anything. I just want to escape from people, to spend time on my own, without the harsh judgements and constant background noise which is others’ words.

The wind is picking up a little now, forceful rather than gentle.

Honestly, I don’t know how long my phone is going to stay off. Maybe a day, a matter of days, a week… I just don’t know, and frankly, I don’t want to know. I’ll know when it’s time to switch it back on again: when I’m ready to face the world again. because right now, I want to hide my face and breathe freely.

My blog will stay online, as usual, although I’ll only be replying to comments, reading posts and such like on my laptop, so comment replies may be a little slower than normal. I guess keeping my blog alive isn’t so much of a challenge, because here I’m anonymous. I speak my mind, my thoughts, and so really, there’s nothing to escape from here. If only the real world was just as easy. If only I could go out, my face covered, my identity erased overnight, a fresh slate before me. But no – no, I know that’s impossible.

55 thoughts on “There’s A Storm Outside

  1. In a way, the blogging world is definitely better than the real one. For, the real one has so many faults and flaws, whereas in the blogging realm, we all have a connection because we’ve seen and experienced those faults and flaws, and we work against them. Don’t let other people’s words let you down, and have a good week in which you can breathe freely!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. What the actual fuck. How ignorant are people to think that someone who has worked so frickin hard to get one step closer to their dream is only there because they’re blind. That’s not true, L, and you know it. I;m sorry I can’t do anything to make people shut up but please don’t feel ashamed of your own identity, people will always, always find a way to bring others down and I know it sucks to be in this position but you cannot give into their shit-talk and change yourself. And it’s okay to want a break from the world especially when all this is happening, but hopefully soon you’ll be ready to come back again. *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Trust me, being caleed fake, or undeserving really undoes any positivity you think you have. People always find wyas to put others down, because in their eyes, every person successfully put down is another rung on their ladder to the top. Thank you ๐Ÿ˜€ XX

      Liked by 1 person

  3. People can be rude poops -.-
    Dont listen to a word they say L! Your a wondeful human ๐Ÿ™‚ Smart of you to turn of your phone and proud that your doing it, it takes alot to turn it off, hoping karma catches up on them fast.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. that’s the kind of comment that keeps me going, so thank you. In some ways, I hope so to, although in others, I hope that one day, they’ll see what the “loner” can achieve. In some kind of sick, evil way, I want to someday have the satisfaction of saying: “Look what I did with my life – more than you’ve done, and more than you’ll ever do. Am I still a loner?”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your welcome:) I truly meant all of it. Thats actually not sick or evil. Its a good attitude to have its their fault jn the end for being rude to you now. I cant wait for the day you can say that

        Liked by 1 person

  4. What the – why are people so mean? You are most definitely not what they describe you as. You are more than amazing. Don’t ever ever give in to what they say because they’re lies – stay you. And God I know that’s cheesy and cliche but it’s the truth. YOU don’t need to change for anyone. YOU are wonderful. Hope this break is more than useful for you, and I hope those idiots who made those comments realise what they’ve done.
    We’re all supporting you L, and come back when you’re ready ! xx ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. They won’t realise what they’ve done, but in some metaphorical sense, I’m gathering my strength not for some kind of attack, but for a show. I’m going to show them, with no direct contact, what I can do. Not gonna lie, kinda feeling like one of those high school bullying victims in those cheesy 90s movies where they get bullied and then return the next week with a full-on cheerleading squad ๐Ÿ˜›

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Stupid people ๐Ÿ˜› They literally feel so annoying just from the computer screen, I wanna bash them X) But YOU, you’re so brave! And don’t think thats out of pity. Of course you know that we will all support you, and why would we waste our energy commenting on this post? Because we care. We all have that feeling, One Way Or Another.(Sorry, had to add that XD) You are gonna be big, girl. WE LOVE YAAAAAA <3<3 โค

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Don’t listen to what anyone says! Forget them. Idiots. Turning off your phone is a really mature thing to do ๐Ÿ™‚ We’re all here for you ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  7. There was a massive storm where I live too. I bet it got a name. But more to the point, what even? Some people are so freaking ignorant and rude. I hope you feel better for turning off your phone (sort of). I’ve been on aeroplane mode for the whole weekend (because no internet) and my kindle app has been my best friend to be honest haha ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it was called storm Katieโ€ฆ I think. I’ve turned my phone back on now, because I realised that by distancing myself from the negativity, I’m also distancing myself from my friends, and that’s not right, or fair. Thanks for your support ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. What in the world?! Bisexual creep? Weirdo? Attention seeker? Do these people even know you? This is wrong. Very very wrong. Some people will go to any length just to put someone else down. Dont worry, they are already below you. This is terrible. Why would anyone ever call you those hurtful things? You’re the most amazing and wonderful human being in the world. You don’t deserve this. People are honestly so heartless sometimes. It’s good that you’re distancing yourself from everything. Maybe waiting out the storm is the best thing to do for now (oh look! PUN!)
    Don’t let these remarks get under your skin. They’re not even in the SLIGHTEST bit true. You’re awesome, you have this awesome blog and all your awesome friends on this blog. I hope everything gets better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, maybe my mentioning of the storm was my way of a deep metaphorโ€ฆ I guess you’re never know! I’ve turned on my phone again now, because I realised that by distancing myself from the hate, I’m also distancing myself from those who care about me really, who are my friends. Thanks for your support ๐Ÿ™‚


      1. Oohh soo deep L…
        I’m glad, it’s true though. There are some who don’t care but then there are tons more people who actually DO care. I’m glad you’re getting all the support ๐Ÿ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  9. L, this is terrible, but you’re not their words. You are your own person: talented, funny, imaginative, great at blogging, and I could go on even more. Keep going, L, you can do this!

    Elly ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      1. GETTIN YA BACK FOR THAT POST THE OTHER DAY just kidding, haha!

        But L, honestly, they’re just haters. They obviously can’t see how great you are, and why I said in my last comment was totally true and is what I’ve gathered from reading your posts. You do seem like a genuinely nice person and it makes me sad to think that anyone would think otherwise. You’re fab, honestly!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Don’t listen to whatever these buffoons are saying. You’re your own person with your own experiences, they have no right to determine what you are and are not. Your friends are true to you because of your amazing personality, saying that they “pity you” is far, far from true. Keep being yourself, your awesome, brilliant self.

    Liked by 1 person

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