How are you? I hope you’re well; I am, although I should probably be doing some homework right now… Yeah… Moving on…
I was reading an article about how articles that are titled “10 things that…”, or something similar to that, usually get the most clikcs. apparently, we’re psychologically more likely to click on these articles, for one reason or another. So, I decided to give it a go, and see if I get more likes, views, comments or even follows… It’s worth a shot, right?
I opted to write 5 things that, if you do them, will make you like me. Maybe you’ll start doing them, if you’re a dedicated fan [who am I kidding?], or maybe you already do them, which would make us, in some weird way, spookily connected.
5 things that Will Make You Be Like L
A list, written by Me, L
1. Saying sorry… to Anything
Maybe it’s a part of being British, or maybe it’s a part of being me, but I’ll say sorry to anyone, or frankly anything, who is prepared to listen to me.
Someone walks into me? I’ll apologise.
I walk into a door? “sorry.”
I stand in a corridor, as far out of people’s way as possible, and someone passes by six feet away from me? “I’m so sorry.”
2. Saying “Morning”, regardless of the hour
It can’t just be me who forgets what time of day it is from time to time, and by that I mean all the time. Because of this, I have adopted saying “morning” to anyone who greets me, regardless of whether it’s 8am or 7pm; it makes no difference. What’s even weirder if you ask me is that no one ever comments on it. Maybe they think [know] that I’m mentally just not there…
3. Getting stressed when you have not eaten your five a day, and the subsequent fruit stuff
tell me it’s not just me who, at 9pm, suddenly realises that they’ve only eaten 3 … fine,2 … alright,1 … 0 … pieces of fruit, and goes on a fruit binge. This consists of ramming as many different fruits and vegetables down your throat, for some reason as quickly as possible, to then show off that you’ve done your healthy deed for the day. If there is a minimal variety of fruit and vegetables available to you, there’s then the Inventing What You ate phase. this consists of breaking what you ate down, and thinking to yourself: “Well, that barbeque pizza did have onions on it… somewhere beneath the sauce… and the cheese…”.
4. Refusing to look at the time when waking up in the morning
You know when you wake up, and you instinctively know that it’s early – like really early? There’s that moment of sleepiness, and then the What-Time-Is-It phase. For some reason, I refuse to look at the time. I have some kind of messed up theory in my head that if I don’t check the time, it will be easier for me to fall back asleep again, which makes very little logical sense. Obviously, I shouldn’t use my phone to tell the time, because I will undoubtedly get distracted by notifications, game requests or social media. But there is no harm in a watch, right? My 2am body disagrees…
5. Claiming the aisle seat on trains, even if the window seat is free
I’ve discovered, after many years of psychologically manipulating members of the public, that people are less likely to ask you to move if you sit on the aisle seat of a train, with your bag or luggage on the window seat. This ensures that the creepy guy who is always attracted to me [I wonder why] does not have the option of sitting next to you, which is a bonus. Plus, it avoids the awkward leaning-over-stranger-next-to-you-to-show-the-conductor-your-ticket action, which is, at best, uncomfrrtable.
So there you are – your tips to be like me! Do you do any of these? Or maybe you have something similar you want to tell me about [I love reading things like thes]?