How are you? I’m good thank you, although I’m quite tired due to my lack of sleep last night. I got an hour and and a half, to be precise; I won’t be up much longer.
I’ve been thinking a lot recently, about how I wish I never grew up. I’m not saying that I think I’ve finished growing up now – in fact, I’m sure there’s plenty more to come – but on reflection, I wish I never grew up at all. It’s sad, really, how things change over time, and it’s even worse when you don’t particularly favour the new thing, or in this case person, over the old one. Things were so different back then, so easy.
Like me, I’m sure you remember the days of innocence and untroubled friendships. Falling out with a friend meant AT WORST crying because they wouldn’t let you into the playhouse to play Mummies and Daddies. Oh, how curiosity was accepted and even encouraged, an if you didn’t understand and asked a stupid question, no one laughed or mocked, because secretly, they were all thinking the same thing. The world was so different back then, so hopeful, and full of colour. We all had so many dreams that, back then, we knew would come true the minute we hit 18; there was no doubting it. Where did that naive optimism go? And Remember how, if you didn’t like the child stood next to you, you could just push them over into the sandpit, and giggle uncontrollably whilst your victim sobbed. That sounds really mean, but you know what I mean.
I miss being young, because the world was so much simpler, with complicated situations and concepts stripped back to their minimalistic bones. Why can’t it be like that now? Why, with age, are we expected to start handling the world? Who says that I’m any more prepared now to handle real life than I was 10 years ago?
I’m sick of the complicated world. I want to be a child again; they’ve got it right. We haven’t. I really miss the optimism, the knowledge that anything could come true if we wished for it. I miss the fake relationships, when we’d call each other ‘girlfriend’ or ‘boyfriend’, and pretend to hug awkwardly, which promptly turned into some kind of ridiculously funny slow dance. If only I’d known back then that they were some of the easiest relationships I’d ever have.
Do you not miss being a child? Is it just me, or do I have a point? The world is such a different place now, and yet I suppose nothing ever really changed. No, nothing did change, nothing that is, apart from me. And yet that in itself changes everything.
This post has turned scarily nostalgic, so I’ll stop here before I genuinely start crying over all the things I don’t have any more, like the naive optimism.