I hope you’ve had, or are having a good day. Mine, I guess, hasn’t been so great today. That looks extremely ‘help me, i’m needy’, but I’ve got to that point where I don’t even care any more.
I’ve got a big meeting coming up on Wednesday afternoon, which assesses all the support I get in school, as well as my medical and social life. I received the plan today, and found that everything is wrong. They’ve taken everything that I submitted in a written contribution out of contxt; they’ve taken information from similar plans, but plans from 4, 5, even 6 years ago; they’ve made me sound like a messed up person. I probably am a messed up person, I know, but that’s nothing to do with my school, and certainly not something I want my school to know about.
When things like this happen, I struggle with coping some times, as I’ve kind of written before. I haven’t really found a successful way to vent my stress in a way that:
A] doesn’t hurt anyone
B] donesn’t hurt me
C] doesn’t show other people that I’m stressed, angry, violently upset etc.
At the moment, I’m sat on a beanbag, on my own, with my laptop on my lap, typing to you guys. I’ve already told my parents to “leave me alone”, and they’re now suspicious, because usually when I’m in a fucked up mood, I’ll express it as it is: “FUCK OFF!”
I’m on the phone to Elm, who I can’t thank enough for her support right now. I guess, she sort of understands, and understands the whole parent thing. But, if you’re reading this Elm, just thank you for being there. You’ll never know how much it means, although I’m sure as you’re reading this you’re sure that you do know how much it means. And in that kind of friendly way, I love you, and you know that i’m here to help you too, whenever you need me. I’m just a phone call away.
And to you bloggers, out there. I’ve just spent some time reading through your lovely comments on older posts; comments that I’ve read before, and comments that I know I’ll read again some day. Your positivity, kindness and acceptingness of me, my oddities and everything else horrible about me is keeping my head above the water right now. You’re the ones keeping me sane, keeping me hopeful and keeping me smiling despite the tears.